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George W. Bush "I hate girls!"

by Jason Meredith | September 23, 2004

Yes, you heard it here first, and GTS has dug long and hard to unearth these outrageous reports. According to eyewitnesses, the current president of the United States, George W. Bush hates girls. He also has been quoted as saying "I'm Superman," and "my dad can beat up your mom."

Kelly Johnson attended Sam Houston Elementary School in Midland, Texas with George W. in 1954. She recalls being teased about being his girlfriend when he viscously announced "I hate girls!"

"It was quite a site," says Mrs. Johnson thinking back to her memories of George from the 3rd grade. "Now I'm not sure if he still hates girls, but back in those days he didn't want anything to do with them."

If the U. S. President hasn't changed his stance on the reported 1954 statement this suggests that he still hates girls which includes his wife, daughters, sisters, and all females both living and dead.

Mrs. Johnson also recalls that George W. also wanted to be Superman when he grew up. "He used to pretend to fly around the playground at recess time saying 'I'm Superman' and then hide behind a tree."

GTS wasn't confident about publishing such shocking allegations until we confirmed them with additional credible sources. We tracked down Ken Tanner and Bobby Whitlock, both former schoolmates of George W. Bush.

Tanner, now a retired midget clothing designer living in San Francisco confirmed Kelly Johnson's report. He also told us about another disturbing incident that took place back in Midland, Texas.

"One night (former classmate) Mark Farmer and I had a sleep over at George's house. Mark made some sort of comment about Mrs Bush having really bad breath" laughs Tanner, adding "and she did!" Apparently George didn't like that and told Mark that he was "going to get his dad to beat up his mom."

Bobby Whitlock, a graphic artist in Austin also told an identical version of this story and added. "Yeah, George had a real imagination; he was always drifting off into la-la-land. He didn't get very good grades, but he managed to pass somehow, I think his father was good friends with Principle Evens."

Whether or not Mr. Bush still hates girls, thinks he's Superman, or gets his father to fight his peer's mothers is not know. GTS is still waiting to hear back from the White House on these allegations and we'll keep you posted as this story develops.